Satisfying my Self-Esteem

My laptop has been sitting on my lap for that long it has actually made my thighs red. I have started so many blog posts but not one has made it out of drafts. It wasn’t until I accidentally knocked my hair appointment card off of my bedside table that I realised something. Sometimes the things we really want to post about are the ones we are most afraid of sharing.

I have always been the ‘smart-ass’ of the group. I can be sarcastic but yet very caring. I’m often most sarcastic with you when you have a struck a nerve of mine. I am also very self-conscious. Recently I have been struggling with my self image. I don’t consider myself fat, nor do I consider myself ugly. I just am a little unhappy with how I see myself. Maybe a lot? I am not entirely sure but it helps to get that weight off of my shoulders.

I find the more I stress and sit on these feelings the worse they get. These are five things – both re-occuring and new – that I do to turn that frown upside down.

  1. Got a Belly Piercing 
    This is something that is quite fresh. So fresh in fact my belly is still a little sore if it gets bumped. I have always been a people pleaser. I have also always wanted a belly piercing. I never got the second in fear of disrupting the first. People-pleasing has been something I have been working on recently. There is a very fine line between being polite and well-mannered and ignoring your own self wishes. I was worried about what the general public would think of a little piece of jewellery through my belly button (silly right?!). I finally now have some belly bling and every time I see the silver sparkle my smile gets that little bit wider.
  2. Dye my Hair
    Change is not permanent. This is the biggest thing I will stress. I was always worried about dying or cutting my hair because I was worried I could never change it back to how it was. Hair grows! Hair can also be dyed back! I needed a change a few months ago. I dyed my hair a beautiful dark red. It was fabulous but now I will be dying it a chocolate brown again (my natural hair colour). Sometimes we need to shake things up so we have appreciation for how things used to be. I used to be so bored of my dull brown ringlets. Now I am so excited to get them back! Who knows, my hair might be a different colour yet again in a few months! I personally believe hair is a big factor in our self image. Think back to your last haircut. How did you feel afterwards?
  3. Get my Nails Done
    I understand not everyone likes getting their nails done nor can they afford it. Personally though, this makes my list. I get my nails done every month. This goes back to a childhood issue. I always chewed my nails. This is the first time in my entire life I have had nails. I used to cry as a young girl because people would always have their two cents. “Look at your fingers. You’ve made a right mess.” Or my personal favourite, “That’s not how a lady would treat her hands.” It’s not like you wake up one morning and decide, you know what! I am going to gnaw these fellas down today! It just used to happen. I had crazy anxiety when I was younger. In late primary school it sometimes got so incredibly overwhelming. To the point I’d wear a rubber band on my wrist and would play with it when I got stressed to calm down. You can read about this technique here. For me, having long nails feels like an accomplishment. I still get acrylic on top, but the nail underneath is the real length of my nails. I love changing colours to suit my moods, events and even the season. The clicking sound they make on hard surfaces (especially my phone!) sounds so cool.
  4. Revamped my Undergarments
    This is also something I have done recently! On the weekend I waltzed myself into Kmart and waltzed myself out with around 10 matching bras and underwear. I feel when I am wearing a matching outfit my self-esteem boosts right up. I feel organised, classy and confident. It’s crazy that something as simple as a matching set can make me feel so much better. But it does! This might not do it for you but maybe something similar will. Pick a favourite clothing and get some more. Even if it as simple as some new scarves. I believe when we have new items we want to wear we actually get excited about getting dressed. Even if it is just for a lazy Sunday stroll through the park. 
  5. Participate in Park Run
    I have never been one for exercise. Fifteen year old Courtney would not have been shy in telling you where to go if you told her to go for a jog to feel better. She would have rolled her eyes, made a snide remark to her friends and plonked her butt straight back in the grass and that is absolutely okay. Sitting with her friends and talking about the latest episode of big brother made her feel better. We all evolve and things change. I now enjoy getting out and being active. It makes me feel refreshed. I started participating in park run but got out of the habit. Park run is where you get together with a local group in the morning and participate in a routine track at your own pace. The best part is you have a barcode which gets scanned and the results get posted. This means that each week you have a personal target to beat. I will be doing it this Saturday because I remember how happy I felt for the whole day the last few times I participated. I also loved taking the dogs for walks when it was warmer. Luckily for me the sun is starting to peer around it’s fluffy friends in the sky so I won’t have the excuse of the cold for much longer.

There you have it. I instantly feel better just by focusing on the feel good factors.

What lifts you from a lousy 1 to a shimmering 10?

5 Replies to “Satisfying my Self-Esteem”

  1. you got me at, ‘sometimes the things we really want ton post about are the ones we are most afraid of sharing.’
    And I’m with you 100% on self image struggle, your post has inspired me, I think I’m going to do something like this, do you mind I’ve if I share your post under my own post?


    1. I don’t mind one bit, I would be honoured! Thank you very much, my goal is to inspire others and to hear that’s been achieved is very rewarding. I think we all have our flaws and we all have things we struggle with, but if we talk about it, they become that little bit less scary. 🙂 x


  2. Just when I thought I was the only one with blogs that I’ve started and never posted! I have about 10! Every time I start a new one I ask myself “um when are you going to finish the one you started months ago” but I don’t think mine is more of being afraid it’s just not being committed to my writing and being all over the place! I think of things I want to write about then get side tracked and it goes from there like a frozen moment each and every time! I love that you were able to share!


    1. That’s okay, thank you for sharing your own! I can totally understand, I can totally excited about certain posts and they never reach the public eye. I’ve started an organised process where if a post sits in drafts any longer than a week I delete it. I figure if I wasn’t that motivated to write it, it might not be worth reading. If I’m not excited why should you all be! It’s working well at the moment!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: